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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23955985">It's You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/pedrhoe_pascal/pseuds/pedrhoe_pascal'>pedrhoe_pascal</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Narcos (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Death, F/M, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Love Confessions, Smoking, Swearing, Trauma, Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 15:15:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,830</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23955985</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/pedrhoe_pascal/pseuds/pedrhoe_pascal</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Takes place during Season 2 Episode 3 (Our Man in Madrid), When Carrillo makes a point</p><p>You've worked with Javier since day one and have become close friends but, when Carrillo crosses a line, Javier needs you to help him cope.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Javier Peña/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>33</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>It's You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Trigger Warning: Description of Violence and Reference to Child Abuse<br/>This is my first piece ever... so, I'm sorry if it's awful!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">You had been in Colombia for a while, since the moment the US had been losing millions of dollars to a Cocaine Empire; Colombia had become home and you wanted the best for the country and its people. During your time together you, Javier and Carrillo had become close friends; you’d work together and catch drinks together and had managed to become a small family. When Steve had joined, you were all a little wary at first but welcomed him nonetheless, we were all fighting for the same ultimate goal. Recently, Carrillo had been more stressed and tense than usual; no one had mentioned it because we were all under a lot of pressure to catch Escobar and place him in a real prison. It was clear Carrillo had met his breaking point when he shot a kid point-blank to demonstrate what happens when you work with Escobar.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">You flinched when he pulled the trigger and the bullet cut through the humid air and soon the young boy's skull. Everyone visibly tensed, shocked by his actions, including Javi. Javi’s eyes seemed to gloss over as he disassociated from the surroundings. Carrillo’s heavy boots crushed the rocks and sand from underneath him as he approached a much younger child. Your heart leaps to your throat and before you even realize it, you step over the lifeless body and infant of Carrillo. You place your right hand on his left shoulder; you stand close to him, aches away. You look him in the eyes and say, “<em>Es suficiente, Carrillo.</em>” quietly; you gesture to the body and newly tensed crew with your head in hopes he’ll retreat. As a friend, you want him to see your actions as ones of concern rather than defiance. You give his shoulder a reassuring squeeze after a moment of silence but it's to no use; Carrillo sidesteps you and begins yelling at the kid. Your eyes stay glued, to where they once met Carrillo’s, in shock before slowly turning back to your original position. Before your eyes can even meet Javi’s he’s turned and quickly Feld to the direction of the car. When he’s out of view you break out of your trace and chase after him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">You find him leaning on the car hood lighting a cigarette; you slowly walk over leaning next to him. You share a few moments of silence before your worries get the best of you, “<em>You okay</em>?”, you ask quietly. In response he simply takes a long drag from his cigarette, keeping his eyes on the pavement in front of him. You place your hand in between his shoulder blades, rubbing reassuring circle and placing your head on his shoulder. After a few moments in silence Javier exhales deeply, “<em>He’s out of line, y/n</em>.”, he expresses angrily. You look up at him, keeping your head on his shoulder “<em>I know Javi</em>.”, you say quietly. He tilts his head to look at you, his eyes finally meeting yours since the tragic shooting. His normal warm, comforting dark brown eyes had darkened several shades making them nearly black. On the surface his eyes appear emotionless but, the anger you looked then more you saw; there was a storm brewing behind his eyes, a storm of angry and torment. Your heart falls at the sight; you love and care for Javier too much to see him like this.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yes, you love Javier Peña; you tried not to because you didn’t want to make your work-life and friendship messy. Not to mention you knew how Javier was, a new woman every night, he wasn’t one to settle down. The two of you shared an apartment complex and often frequented clubs so you were often faced with the grinding against a stranger and eye-fucking that happened before it finished in some obscene noises at his place. You knew you were too far gone when you had to start holding back tears because Javier had gotten insider information from an ‘informant’. You knew what ‘informant’ meant in fact, the entire office did; it had become an ongoing joke that anyone you slept was an ‘informant’. Your heart ached at the knowledge that a random woman knew how his lips felt against theirs, feel his warm embrace and lie in bed with him, all things you could only dream of. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Carrillo and the rest of the crew start returning from the ally to their respected vehicles, all in silence, you and Javier did the same. The ride back to the embassy was quiet and Javi kept his eyes on the road attentively and so, you put your hand on his knee reassuringly. You couldn’t be sure but, it looked like he’d suddenly relaxed a bit. His shoulders dropped a little, his legs loosen their firm stance and his hold on the steering wheel lessens. When you were back at the embassy it was an unspoken agreement that you’d both head home. You and Javier would carpool to work together, living and working in the same space and being a friend, it just made sense. Steve, unfortunately, stops Javier on your way to his car; “<em>What the fuck happened?</em>” Steve questions in a hostile tone. Javier instantly tenses and looks as he did the moment Carrillo pulled the trigger; you step between them and lean into Steve, pushing him off of Javier while explaining, “<em>Carrillo killed a kid. To prove a fucking point.</em>”. “<em>We good now?</em>” Javier asks sarcastically as he climbs in the car. You make your way to the passenger side of the car. As soon as Javier pulls out of the parking lot he glances over at you, “<em>How are you so calm about this? A kid died tonight</em>.”. You look up at him with a sad smile, “<em>Back home I worked homicide. Sadly, the odd innocent child lost their life. They always bother you because it’s not right but I had to be able to stay strong and do my job so they could get justice. June 24th, in my first year in homicide, we were called to a rural back-lane where the body of a young girl had been found. It’s a sight I’ll never forget, her face was blue and purple with bruises and swollen beyond recognition. We found out the mother had abused her for years and when the girl passed she just sat her beside the trash can as if she was nothing. I was so emotional my lieutenant pointed out that I needed to be strong and bring her justice</em>.” He glanced from the road to you with sympathy, finally, raw emotion had returned to his coffee-coloured orbs. “Y<em>ou never get used to it, Javi. You just learn to cope.</em>”.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The two of you walk into the apartment complex, as you pull out your keys to unlock your place; Javier's rough voice cuts the nights air “<em>Teach me.</em>” “<em>What?</em>”, you ask while chuckling. “<em>To cope. How do I cope?</em>”, he explains while leaning on his door. You smile, “<em>Are you sure you can handle my method to my madness?</em>”, his lips lift slightly for the first time tonight and it makes your heart flutter. He quietly turns to his place while you return your keys and make your way across the hall. The two of you enter and he grabs two beers from the fridge while you make yourself a home in the couch. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Over your time working together and living across from each other, you’d been to each other places countless times; sometimes as friends for a relaxing evening, or to work out a new kink in the case, or to bitch about work and all the restrictions, or to talk shit about those that were more concerned with their image than for Colombia and it’s people. Every time you were over at his place you’d glance at his bedroom, seeing the sheets ruffled form what you can only imagine were the previous night's activities. You don’t know why you looked because it only ever brought a flood of emotions and a heavyweight to your chest. Tonight was no different.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">You’re brought out of your trance when Javier stands before you, handing a cold beer, which you take and kindly thank him. The couch shifts when he drops on it next to you. You take a swig from your beer and then rest your head in the back of the couch with a heavy sigh. You can feel eyes on you, you open one eye to see Javier staring with soft eyes and a warm smile. Once he realizes he’s been caught he quickly turns away and sips from his beer, you close your eyes and say “<em>C’mon, relax and close your eyes.</em>”. You hear some shuffling and when it’s quieted down and you assume he’s done so, you open your eyes and turn toward him. “<em>Imagine your safe space, anywhere in the world with anyone or anything</em>.” You can’t help but smile at his calmed expression. You take note of every detail; the way his eyelashes rest against his cheek, how all the wrinkles around his mouth and forehead seem to diminish and how his features all carry a soft curve to them. For a moment, you forget the purpose of this all, “<em>Where are you?</em>” The most natural smile covers his face before he answers, “<em>In a warm embrace.</em>” “<em>How do you feel?</em>” “<em>Safe, happy, unworried and…</em>” he pauses “<em>Loved.</em>”. His words make you want to run your hands through his hair and down his cheeks. “<em>Take a deep breath, breath in all the bad from today.</em>”. When he deeply inhales you watch his chest rise and then continue “<em>Now breath it all out. Let all the bad out of your safe space.</em>”. Javier seems to get younger as he does so “<em>Are you still in your safe space?</em>”, you get in inaudible yes in response. “<em>Are you still safe, happy, and unworried?</em>”, he whispers a yes. Before you can stop yourself you place a hand on his cheek, rubbing his cheekbone with your thumb; “<em>Are you still loved?</em>”. Javier opens his eyes, “<em>God I hope so.</em>”, he says while sitting up and capturing your lips with his. It’s not what you expected, his lips are soft and it’s filled with warmth and passion. His rough hands find your cheek and neck, holding onto you. When he pulls away he rests his head on yours, your sarcastic self pulls through, “<em>That’s not normally how this would end.</em>”. He lets out a short laugh “<em>Oh no? How would it normally end?</em>” “<em>I don’t know, probably some speech about how no matter what happens your still safe. Nothing can change or hurt your safe space. You’ll always have…</em>”. You’re interrupted when Javier sighs, “<em>Oh Díos.</em>”, before kissing you again. “<em>That was a polite way of telling me to shut up.</em>”, you giggle into the kiss. “<em>It’s always been you y/n. You’re my safe space. Mi Amor.</em>”</span>
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